assault

TTB195: Salami Man

On: October 17, 2022November 6, 2022 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 46:05 — 21.2MB)

The Two Bobs episode 195 for Monday, October 17, 2022:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed an Oatmeal Stout from Arvon. https://www.arvonbrewingco.com/our-brews
- Robert took down a Pumpkin Ale from Alewerks. https://untappd.com/b/alewerks-brewing-company-pumpkin-ale/76188
- Follow us on Untapped at @RobFromTTB and @lowercaserobert or we’ll dump salsa on your pizza.
This week’s CRAZY NEWS is brought to you by ResMed, the #1 maker of CPAPs that are slowly trying to murder Robert.
- There are worse things to be assaulted with than salsa and pizza, although pizza was M.I.A. the entire article. https://kstp.com/kstp-news/local-news/woman-charged-with-assaulting-multiple-people-waite-park-with-salsa-pizza/
- A woman in Japan was scammed by a Russian “astronaut” who needed money to return to earth. https://www.vice.com/en/article/3ad7vn/japan-romance-scam-russian-astronaut
- Gen Z social media fame whore tearfully begged for donations after accidentally buying a $100,000 couch. LOL. https://www.insider.com/quenlin-blackwell-influencer-backlash-buying-couch-accidentally-2022-10
- She threw urine. https://www.bellinghamherald.com/news/local/crime/article266985566.html
- There’s only one rule in Walmart Fight Club: There is no Walmart Fight Club. https://dailynewsreported.com/breakingnews/an-employee-ran-walmart-fight-club-has-been-shut-down-after-someone-breaks-rule-1/

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The Two Bobs Podcast is © The Two Bobs. For more information, see our Who are The Two Bobs? page, or check our Contact page. Words, views, and opinions are our own and do not represent those of our friends, family, or our employers, unless otherwise noted. Music for The Two Bobs was provided by JewelBeat.

TTB184: Socks On The Beach

On: June 27, 2022June 26, 2022 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 57:46 — 26.5MB)

The Two Bobs episode 184 for Monday, June 27, 2022:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed an Imperial Chocolate PB Stout from Big Lake Brewing. https://untappd.com/login?go_to=https://untappd.com/b/big-lake-brewing-imperial-chocolate-pb-stout/4113535
- Robert took down a Slang du Jour Apricot Shortbread Cookie Smoothie Sour from Drekker. https://untappd.com/b/drekker-brewing-company-slang-du-jour-apricot-shortbread-cookie/4839529
- Follow us on Untapped at @RobFromTTB and @lowercaserobert or we’ll force you to wear socks to the beach.
This week’s CRAZY NEWS is way less half-assed than these show notes because Rob dropped the ball and had to rush them. He promises he’ll make it up to us next week.
- Who knew falling into a vat of chocolate was a bad thing? https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/09/us/chocolate-tank-rescue-pennsylvania/index.html
- A weird fish that looks like a penis washed up onto the shore of a California beach. https://www.iflscience.com/thousands-of-penis-fish-washed-up-on-a-californian-beach-and-people-are-big-fans-54457
- Some guy, who wasn’t pregnant, wouldn’t share that info and can no longer donate blood. https://nypost.com/2022/06/20/man-denied-giving-blood-after-refusing-to-answer-if-he-was-pregnant/
- Who wears socks on the beach? https://www.the-sun.com/uncategorized/5598894/woman-socks-beach-tiktok/
- If you’re ever attacked by an emu, apparently pool noodles will keep you safe. And they’re still legal in all 50 states (so far). https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Texas-man-brandishes-pool-noodle-to-fend-off-emu-17245764.php
- A woman cuts off her boyfriend’s finger to get rich quick, but somehow the cops figured it out. https://dailynewsreported.com/togetherness/woman-cuts-off-boyfriends-finger-deep-fries-it-and-serves-it-to-him-all-in-an-effort-to-sue-her-workplace-for-him-having-a-finger-in-his-food/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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TTB180: Sterile Pete

On: April 25, 2022April 24, 2022 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 50:17 — 23.2MB)

The Two Bobs episode 180 for Monday, April 25, 2022:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Main Boss Stout from Fair State Cooperative. https://fairstate.coop/beer/main-boss/
- Robert took down a Baby Shark IPA from Aslin. https://untappd.com/b/aslin-beer-company-baby-shark/2994936
- Follow us on Untapped at @RobFromTTB and @lowercaserobert or we’ll throw toilets at you.
This week’s CRAZY NEWS will remind you of that one time Grandma was using your computer after you forgot to clear your browser history.
- Apparently “sexsomnia” is a real thing. We’re still researching how to contract it voluntarily and will keep you posted. https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/18272714/sexsomnia-sleep-walking-for-sex-acts/
- The Easter Bunny practices safe sex. https://www.star-telegram.com/news/state/texas/article260498872.html
- This guy masturbated too hard and nearly collapsed his lungs. PSA: There’s no need to hate fuck yourself. You can be a gentle self-lover and be just as satisfied. https://nypost.com/2022/04/13/man-rushed-to-er-after-crunching-lung-while-masturbating/
- A Pennsylvania man fled police and threw a toilet off the roof of a building at them. https://www.wearecentralpa.com/news/local-news/man-flees-altoona-police-throws-toilet-from-roof-of-apartment-building/
- DNA testing revealed that this retired mailman fathered over 1,900 children between 1951 and 1964. https://dailynewsreported.com/positive-affirmations/dna-testing-reveals-mailman-fathered-over-1900-children-between-1951-and-1964/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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TTB172: Glitter Assault

On: January 17, 2022January 16, 2022 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 47:00 — 21.6MB)

The Two Bobs episode 172 for Monday, January 17, 2022:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Gravity Shift from Ellison. https://untappd.com/b/ellison-brewery-spirits-gravity-shift-2021/4541087
- Robert nursed a CHONK Rainbow Sherbet Smoothie Sour from Drekker. https://untappd.com/b/drekker-brewing-company-chonk-rainbow-sherbet/4186530
- Follow us on Untapped at @RobFromTTB and @lowercaserobert or you’re getting glitter bombed.
Our favorite fart jar salesperson is retiring after landing in the hospital. That didn’t last long. https://www.eonline.com/news/1315348/90-day-fiances-stephanie-matto-retiring-from-fart-jar-business-after-hospitalization
This week’s CRAZY NEWS can only be described in sound effects [insert screaming goat sound effect].
- Police arrest a man who had body parts stashed in a stolen car. https://local12.com/amp/news/nation-world/police-arrest-man-who-allegedly-had-body-parts-in-stolen-car-crime-murder-homicide-truck-stolen-body-parts-severed-head-limbs-torso-las-vegas-nevada-eric-holland-p-david-westbrook-richard-p-miller-cincinnati-ohio
- Florida man was arrested after stopping to charge his ankle bracelet while committing a crime. The real crime here is poor planning. https://www.winknews.com/2022/01/12/florida-man-stops-to-charge-ankle-monitor-while-committing-a-crime-faces-grand-theft-auto/
- Florida women were busted for a 3AM glitter attack. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/glitter-bombing-274809
- An Alabama man was arrested for stealing bleachers and dragging them behind his car. https://www.fox10tv.com/news/mobile_county/mpd-arrests-man-for-allegedly-stealing-bleachers-and-dragging-with-his-car/article_9a6e54f4-6f69-11ec-8149-379168111e32.html
- This idiot stole sex toys from an adult novelty store—including an award-winning Autoblow A.I.—after applying for a job there. Needless to say he was caught but it’s unclear whether or not his pants were on at the time. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/adult-world-robbery-274580
- A man sued Netflix for $2MM claiming that binge-watching led to his obesity. https://dailynewsreported.com/food/man-sues-netflix-for-2-million-and-wins-claims-binge-watching-led-to-obesity/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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TTB167: Domestic Taco Battery

On: November 8, 2021November 7, 2021 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:54 — 28.0MB)

The Two Bobs episode 167 for Monday, November 8, 2021:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Dragon’s Milk Reserve: Salted Caramel from New Holland. https://www.dragonsmilk.com/reserve
- Robert had a Braaaaaaaains Double Fruit Smoothie Sour from Drekker. https://untp.beer/W9lY1
- Follow us on Untapped at @RobFromTTB and @lowercaserobert or we’ll get you drunk and feed you sea creatures.
We talked about the Houston Astros and erections.
The nutjobs that flocked to Dealey Plaza didn’t make this week’s CRAZY NEWS because we only talk about real stuff here, like drunk pet shop patrons eating goldfish.
- Thanksgiving ice cream is here and we don’t hate it. https://thetakeout.com/thanksgiving-turkey-ice-cream-salt-straw-1847982257
- A Utah man shot his dad for ordering the wrong chicken wings. https://www.abc4.com/news/local-news/son-arrested-after-shooting-at-dad-over-wrong-chicken-wings-in-northern-utah/
- Florida woman was arrested for pelting her mother with tacos. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/taco-battery-arrest-102358
- Florida man was arrested for throwing an alligator through a drive through window…in 2016. https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-throwing-alligator-through-drive-thru-window.amp
- A drunk FIFO was arrested for entering a pet store and eating a dozen goldfish. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/cincinnati-man-arrested-after-entering-pet-shop-while-drunk-and-eating-a-dozen-live-goldfishes/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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