April 2018 Archives

TTB062: Unicorn Saddles

On: April 30, 2018June 1, 2018 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:06:46 — 30.7MB)

The Two Bobs Podcast episode 62 for Monday, April 30, 2018:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob feasted on a Java Chip Mint Stout by Odd Side Ales. https://oddsideales.com/our-beers.html
- Robert had himself a Blood Orange Imperial Ale by Buffalo Bill’s Brewery. http://buffalobillsbrewery.com
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or you’ll be swallowing bullets courtesy of Betty White and an AK-47.
- See all the beers we’ve had on the show on our What Are We Drinking? page.
Rambling Rob left The Bobs a voicemail. They’re just glad he made it to his car alive.
- Visit randomrobcast.com! His podcast is much better than his shoddy web site.
The Bobs also got a text message that offered a great segue into a discussion about shitty life hacks. You should try all of them. https://www.buzzfeed.com/andyneuenschwander/21-hilariously-shitty-life-hacks-that-you-should-ne
Unicorn saddles are real just like elves and eskimos.
A double dose of CRAZY NEWS this week because The Bobs still love you in spite of all your inadequacies.
- A millennial from Colorado is bitten by a shark, after being attacked by a bear, after being bitten by a snake. It’s almost like Darwin is trying to tell him something but he’s too dumb to listen. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dylan-mcwilliams-shark-bear-attack_us_5addfa37e4b036e7aeb4f9e0
- An old lady from California fends off a street gang with an AK-47. Hot. http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/grandmother-with-ak-47-saves-cops-being-attacked-by-street-gang/

Have a question? Need advice? Have nothing better to do? Tweet it out with #askTTB and we’ll talk about it on the show! You’re welcome.

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

Leave us a message or text us at 530-882-BOBS (530-882-2627)

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The Two Bobs Podcast is © The Two Bobs. For more information, see our Who are The Two Bobs? page, or check our Contact page. Words, views, and opinions are our own and do not represent those of our friends, family, or our employers, unless otherwise noted. Music for The Two Bobs was provided by JewelBeat.

TTB061: Big Bulbous Butt

On: April 23, 2018June 1, 2018 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:06 — 27.6MB)

The Two Bobs Podcast episode 61 for Monday, April 23, 2018:

Rob took a spill. Fortunately, he lived to tell about it.
What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob made sweet, malty love to a KBS (2018) by Founders. https://foundersbrewing.com/our-beer/kbs/
- Robert enjoyed a Coconut Victory at Sea. https://www.ballastpoint.com/beer/victory-at-sea-with-toasted-coconut/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll force feed you burritos.
- See all the beers we’ve had on the show on our What Are We Drinking? page.
The Bobs left a voicemail for fellow podcaster Rambling Rob. Visit http://www.randomrobcast.com for more podcast goodness!
What’s the difference between fancy sauce and Heinz’s yet-to-be-released Maychup? Absolutely nothing. Mayochup comes premixed in a bottle though so lazyasses like Robert don’t break their backs manually mixing ketchup and mayo. https://www.foodbeast.com/news/heinz-mayochup-usa/
Never paid $30 to vomit? Here’s your chance! It turns out tarantula burgers are a real thing. http://www.wavy.com/news/strange/introducing-the-new-american-meat-ethically-sourced-tarantula-burgers/1122173072
The Bobs would love Chili’s new magical burger concoction. https://www.thrillist.com/news/nation/chilis-testing-new-five-meat-boss-burger
Rob filed his taxes early this year to beat anyone else filing a tax return in his name to the punch. Robert waited until the last minute. Why? Because doing your taxes sucks ass and apparently the Twitter community agrees. https://www.thrillist.com/news/nation/funny-tax-day-jokes-twitter-reactions-to-tax-day-2018
A double dose of CRAZY NEWS this week! No reason to feel special though; The Bobs always do at least two stories. Get off your fucking high horse.
- A Florida man steals a case of shitty beer from a dollar store even though he doesn’t drink it and gets caught. Who knew dollar stores even carry beer? https://wtfflorida.com/news/crime/florida-man-steals-beer-even-though-he-dont-drink-it/
- A perfectly healthy 450-pound man eats 21 burritos, has a heart attack, and sues Taco Bell for $4M. http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/man-who-suffered-heart-attack-after-eating-21-burritos-in-a-row-sues-taco-bell-for-4m/

Have a question? Need advice? Have nothing better to do? Tweet it out with #askTTB and we’ll talk about it on the show! You’re welcome.

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

Leave us a message or text us at 530-882-BOBS (530-882-2627)

Join us on all the social things:

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TTB060: French Choast Chalupa

On: April 16, 2018April 16, 2018 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:09:06 — 31.8MB)

The Two Bobs episode 60 for Monday, April 16, 2018:

There are no words to describe how this episode started. Enjoy!
What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob slammed a Rochester Mills Milkshake Stout and then choked down a Wild Blue Blueberry Lager by Blue Dawg Brewing. It tasted like cough medicine; utterly terrible. It was soon discovered that the brewery is owned by Anheuser-Busch and is therefore a complete fraud. Don’t ever pay money for this piss water. http://www.wildbluelager.com/ProductInfo.aspx
- Robert beat Rob to a Chocolate Stout by Rogue https://www.rogue.com/products/chocolate-stout
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll have you attacked with a pizza. Just kidding, you’d probably like that (we would).
The Bobs got a text letting them know how much better they are than the other Bobs podcast that’s been riding their coat tails. They already knew but the validation is comforting.
Taco Bell is expanding its already asstastic breakfast menu. https://www.foodbeast.com/news/tb-french-toast-chalupa-shell/
This may come as a surprise but The Bobs like sandwiches. It’s only fitting that they talk about the best sandwiches from around the world. The Bobs are cultured as fuck. https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/best-sandwiches-around-world-chip-butty-mitraillette-kaya-toast-banh-mi-a7744401.html
It’s been a busy week in the world so The Bobs offer up a whole buttload of CRAZY NEWS! Christmas came early this year, not that you’re in the nice list.
- In an apparent domestic incident an Ohio man attacked his lover with a pizza. It must have had pineapple on it. https://www.wxyz.com/news/ohio-man-allegedly-attacked-woman-with-a-pizza-in-domestic-incident
- Is your local Toys R Us closing? Why not throw a rave party! The fact that it’s illegal doesn’t mean breaking and entering can’t be fun and hilarious. https://twitter.com/i/moments/984462417425059842
- Ever been hocked up on crystal meth then ran naked through a Walmart biting dozens of strangers? This guy has! http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/ohio-naked-man-on-crystal-meth-bites-28-people-in-a-walmart-store/
- In Argentina, a group of police officers are arrested for blaming missing marijuana on mice. Still, that doesn’t explain that missing Doritos truck… https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mice-marijuana-argentina-skeptical-judge_us_5acf8ca6e4b016a07e9a3036
- Robot sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, unless you’re a creepy old pervert who can’t get any from your wife. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sergi-santos-robot-sex-dolls_us_5accde40e4b0152082fe2d22

Music for illegal rave segment is Squigglejammer by Computer Music All Stars.

Have a question? Need advice? Have nothing better to do? Tweet it out with #askTTB and we’ll talk about it on the show! You’re welcome.

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

Leave us a message or text us at 530-882-BOBS (530-882-2627)

Join us on all the social things:

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TTB059: Kellie Makes Burnt Brownies

On: April 9, 2018April 9, 2018 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 55:51 — 25.7MB)

The Two Bobs episode 59 for Monday, April 9, 2018:

Usual garbled mess of a show start. Otherwise it just wouldn’t be an episode of TTB!
What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Milkshake Stout by Rochester Mills. http://m.beercos.com/year-round-beers.php
  - It paired nicely with an Oreo Cookie brownie that Kellie made. Contrary to anything that Robert said it was NOT burnt. Robert is just stupid and doesn’t know any better.
- Robert slurped down a Thick Mint Stout by Southern Tier. http://www.stbcbeer.com/beer/thick-mint/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or you’re uninvited to the next lesbian wedding at your local Walmart.
The Bobs finally bested that worthless skank Alexa. TTB is now playing on your Echo device so gather your family around and listen!
The Bobs discuss the similarities and differences between raising kids and puppies. Hint: One shits on the floor a lot more.
Science has finally proven what we all already knew: Consuming large amounts of pasta leads to weight loss. The Bobs immediately started diets consisting of only pasta, coffee and beer. http://www.newsweek.com/pasta-weight-loss-869178
TWO doses of CRAZY NEWS because it’s been a busy week in the world. It has nothing to do with you so get over yourself.
- Kirkland makes lots of things from batteries to chicken tenders to pants to laundry soap. Few people know that Kirkland also makes beer. Why is that? Because it sucks ass. This guy in California—who is admittedly inebriated—loves Costco’s in-house Kirkland Light beer so much that he decided to film commercial for it. This is hard-hitting shit, folks. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/randy-colpek-costco-beer_us_5ac529b7e4b09ef3b2431f59
- Our friends over at World News Daily Report brought us a riveting story of a morgue employee who was mistakenly cremated while napping on the job. How this didn’t make national headlines is crazy. The Bobs smell a coverup involving Facebook, Russians and that pornstar Trump slept with. http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/morgue-employee-cremated-by-mistake-while-taking-a-nap/

Have a question? Need advice? Have nothing better to do? Tweet it out with #askTTB and we’ll talk about it on the show! You’re welcome.

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

Leave us a message or text us at 530-882-BOBS (530-882-2627)

Join us on all the social things:

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The Two Bobs have swag: http://www.thetwobobs.com/swag

TTB058: Garbled Mess

On: April 2, 2018April 2, 2018 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:08:14 — 31.4MB)

The Two Bobs episode 58 for Monday, April 2, 2018:

The Bobs took a week off last week due to “technical difficulties.” Regardless of what Robert says, Rob did actually pay his damn internet bill.
Robert’s son has been hustling self-published literature around school. Prices for his work varies between a dollar and a small country depending on how much you have in your pocket at the time of purchase.
What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob took down an Even More Jesus Imperial Stout by EVILTWIN. If you’ve ever listened to an episode of The Two Bobs you know that imperials always make for a good episode. http://eviltwin.dk/Even-More-Jesus
- Robert enjoyed a Flesh & Blood IPA from Dogfish Head. https://www.dogfish.com/brewery/beer/flesh-blood-ipa
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll turn you in for murdering Jesus (and we’re not talking about the Mexican you paid to re-pave your driveway for a case of Corona and a half carton of Marlboro Reds).
Damnit, Facebook! The Bobs discuss how Facebook is a piece of shit. Everybody should delete their accounts but few actually have the balls….except Rob. Fuck Facebook.
- If you don’t want to get rid of Facebook but want to clean up your tracks, follow these tips: https://www.dailydot.com/debug/deletefacebook-data-settings/
Damnit, MyFitnessPal! They just got hacked. Luckily The Bobs don’t exercise and Rob used his deleted Facebook account to log in. Joke’s on them! https://www.buzzfeed.com/skbaer/myfitnesspal-under-armour-data-stolen
TWO doses of CRAZY NEWS this week because you’ve been a good little bitch.
- Question: What better place to exchange nuptials with your same-sex life partner than the Home & Garden section at your local Walmart? Answer: Walmart is literally the second worst place to have a wedding. The worst is a gas station restroom. That’s for another week though. https://www.ydr.com/story/news/heart-of-york/2018/03/18/walmart-wedding-heres-why-central-pa-couple-got-hitched-garden-section/436930002/
- In honor of the Easter holiday, a man claiming to be a time traveler turns himself in for killing Jesus Christ. Yep. http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/israel-man-claiming-to-be-a-time-traveler-turns-himself-in-for-the-killing-of-jesus-christ/

Have a question? Need advice? Have nothing better to do? Tweet it out with #askTTB and we’ll talk about it on the show! You’re welcome.

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

Leave us a message or text us at 530-882-BOBS (530-882-2627)

Join us on all the social things:

Follow us on Twitter
Like our Facebook Page
Join our Facebook Group
Check out our Instagram
Follow Rob on Untappd
Follow Robert on Untappd

The Two Bobs have swag: http://www.thetwobobs.com/swag